I had never experienced what I think of as road rage. I must say that I am completely dismayed, disturbed and in extreme cases shocked when I read about road rage (as a Canadian I feel like this happens more often in the US than in Canada but I don't know if that is statistically accurate or not). The thought that someone would be sufficiently upset by something happening on the road that they would chase the person down and become verbally abusive, sometimes leading to a physical assault or in extreme cases a shooting seems crazy to me. Now, that is not to say that I am not frustrated and sometimes very concerned with the drivers I've experienced. Watching people weave in and out of traffic on the 401 at 150+ km/hr is concerning. Having someone drift into your lane, cut you off, make a right or left turn without looking is bothersome and certainly has led me to lean on my horn and yell at the person from inside my car. But the idea that I would track the person down and confront them just seems to be way over the line. As an aside, if there was an easy way to report dangerous driving (like an emergency number/button on my phone) I would probably do that when it was justified. But given the current process of looking up the number, etc etc I haven't gone to that length, despite observing at times some very bad and dangerous driving.
Before I tell you my road rage story I probably should tell you a couple of things about myself. First, I think of myself as a rule questioner. I don't go around looking for rules or laws to break, but when faced with something that makes no sense I at least question it. If the explanation makes sense I am happy to follow the rule. If it doesn't make sense and the consequences are not too severe (I would prefer not to go to jail (smile)) then I will continue to question the rule and likely not follow it. This was very much how I behaved during my career and I like to think that it was partially responsible for the achievements I experienced, and why the teams I managed were largely successful. One of my favourite experiences was something I did prior to attending an executive development course at IBM. Before the course, I was asked to complete a multi-hundred-question questionnaire. After completing the questionnaire I spent 90 minutes with a psychologist who explored my answers. At the end of this process, and before I went on the course, I received a 10-page report written in the third person. Meaning it was written, Gary does this, Gary usually does this, etc etc. My favourite line in the report was "Gary is aware there are rules, he just doesn't think all of them apply to him". This is partially where I developed my belief that I am a rule questioner.
The other thing you should know is that I can be quite intense. I am sure this is a surprise to many of you that see me as a relaxed, fun-loving guy (smile). People I have worked with, poorly performing customer service reps, and my children would have all experienced my direct, sometimes loud feedback. My kids would often tell me I was yelling. I, of course, would tell them that I was speaking clearly (they were right - I was yelling). At IBM they had an attribute which they called "straight talk". This was considered a positive quality leading to individuals speaking honestly with each other. During my evaluations at IBM, the feedback was often that I had no problem with straight talk. Sometimes the feedback was "maybe you could engage in slightly less straight talk".
Ok, on to my road rage experience. I have taken up cycling the last two years as I find it great exercise without the pounding that you get with running. My routine is I bike at home and run at the cottage. I am very conscious of safety while riding my bike on residential streets in the neighbourhood. I ride the same route every day (I know boring, but allows me to easily track time progress). About 60% of my route has a bike lane and I tend to ride mid-morning after rush hour. I am very aware of the cars and traffic around me. I totally understand that if I get hit by a car it is going to me that will get hurt not the car. I stop at all stoplights. I swing well out from parked cars not wanting to get hit by an opening door. I am very careful at red lights when cars turning right can get very close to the curb and me on my bike. The one thing I don't always do is come to a complete stop at a stop sign. When I am approaching a stop sign and there are no cars I will slow down. If there are still no cars, I will ride through the stop sign. If there are cars and they give me the right of way (which they often do) I will ride through. If there are lots of cars stopping and turning at the sign I will stop.
So while riding my bike the other day I approach a 3-way/T intersection stop. There are no cars on any of the three streets. I slow down, still no cars, I ride through the stop sign/intersection and am on my way. Now I'm at least 100 yards through the intersection when I hear a prolonged horn honking. I have this strange feeling that this is directed at me although I don't feel like I have done anything wrong. Within about 30 seconds there is a small car driving beside me with the passenger window down. What looks like a 25-year-old male driver yells at me "You didn't stop at the F---ing stop sign". I yell back "What are you the bike stop sign police?" He yells back "You didn't stop at the F---ing stop sign". At this point, I wanted to tell him he was just repeating himself, but I wasn't sure that our roadside encounter would allow for this level of conversation. So I just told him to "F--- off". He replied something similar and I rode off. Strangely at this point, he was driving more slowly than I was riding so he was behind me. Within the next 30 seconds, he is beside me again. I am beginning to think: A - this is getting kind of ridiculous and B - I am on a bike next to the curb and he is in a car. I am probably the vulnerable one here. We exchange a few more expletives (I get the last F--- off in just to prove I can be petty with the best of them) and he drives away.
I want to be clear. This was not a life-changing experience for me. I have not spent hours reflecting on this and it will not lead to some dramatic change in my behaviour. However, as I get to this point in my blog post I am now forced to think about how I feel about this. I think I feel it was silly and unnecessary. First, his honking and chasing me down was unjustified. Yes, I did not stop at the stop sign. But I was still careful, there were no cars, I did not cause any issue and I certainly did not cause any issue for him (he was far enough behind me that I did not even notice him as I slowed down at the stop sign). However, given that I can't control his behaviour the only thing I can control was my reaction. I could have just ignored him. He might have found this even more annoying than me engaging and swearing at him. Why didn't I just do that? (see above personality traits for the likely explanation). I am 63 years old and probably should have been the bigger person.
As it turns out road rage is a serious issue. In the US in the last 7 years, road rage has been responsible for 300 deaths, 200 of which have been classified as murder and over 12,000 injuries. In Canada where cases of road rage are increasing, 1 in 3 drivers (this strikes me as a high number) say they have experienced road rage. Just to be clear, the definition of road rage includes angry honking (like I experienced), obscene hand gestures, obscene language and then also more extreme physical encounters.
I am hoping this is my last road rage experience either on my bike or in my car. If it does happen again I will do my best to just keep going and avoid repeating this silly and unnecessary experience.
Let me know what you think at thethirdperiod.ca@gmail.com
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